Saying sorry

As I sat on the pew outside the confessional, waiting my turn, I was nervous to say the least.  I had recollected my failings, my sins, and was ready.  But my stomach was a ball of knots.  One by one the people sitting on the pew between me and the confessional room door got up to enter it as the person ahead of them exited.  One older man came out with tears in his eyes. 

Finally, it was my turn.  Ok, here I go, I thought.

I entered the room, closed the door behind me and knelt before the confessional screen.  I crossed myself and began, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."  At that point the penitent is supposed to say My last confession was . . .  However, I had only just entered the Catholic Church a few months previously.  "This is my first confession, father," I explained.  "I entered the Church this past Easter Vigil."  From the other side of the screen came Father John's cheerful voice, "Hey, welcome to Mother Church!"

Father John was our pastor at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton parish at that time.  He is a good and popular priest. 

The sound of his voice calmed me down a lot.  I won't divulge the tawdry sins I confessed or the counsel Father John gave me.  But it was wise counsel and I remember it to this day. 

What I also remember is the sense of joy and release I felt afterwards.  I feel this after every confession I make.  On another occasion after confession, while driving home from the church, I broke into tears of gratitude in the car.

My readers who are not Catholic may ask these valid questions: Why not just confess your sins directly to God?  Why go to a priest in confession?

The Church is the body of Christ.  When we commit sin it is an offense against God and against his body the Church and so we must be reconciled with the Church.  There are no victimless sins.  Our sins not only damage our relationship with God but, one way or another, damage our relationships with other people.  When we wish somebody would just drop dead; when we waste our time and talent on selfish pursuits; when we look at dirty pictures that portray women has mere sexual objects, etc., we tear the fabric that connects us to other people.  By doing these things we kill love.  No man is an island, goes the line from John Donne.

I mentioned the counsel that Father John gave me during my first confession.  We go to a doctor when something ails us physically.  Some go to psychologists when something ails them mentally or emotionally.  When we're spiritually ill, we also need to seek help. 

The priest, as a representative of Christ, grants the penitent absolution in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Whatever personal shortcomings the priest has - and hey, they're human - he is still a channel through which God pours his graces.  The knowledge that Jesus on the cross looked into the abyss of human sin, at my sin and yours, and emptied his veins in order to wash us clean by his most precious and holy blood; and that he instituted the sacrament of penance where we can be granted forgiveness, creates a light-heartedness in me after confession like nothing else can.

For Scripture verses supporting Jesus' conferring power upon the Apostles to forgive sins, see Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18, John 20:21-22.  The Catholic bishops are the successors of the Apostles through the laying on of hands.  The bishops in turn ordain priests through the laying on of hands to act with the bishop's authority.  (1 Timothy 4:14, 2 Timothy 2:2 and others)

                                     

John the Baptist, Advent prohpet



Second Sunday of Advent

Purple is the color of Advent because it is the color of penitence.  As a time of preparation for the coming of Christ, Advent is a penitential season.  The second Sunday of Advent focuses especially on the theme of repentence.  Our Gospel reading for this Sunday is Luke 3:1-6 which includes the words, John (the Baptist) went throughout the whole region of the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentence for the forgiveness of sins.

John the Baptist is the Advent prophet.  His purpose was to prepare the way for the Christ. 

These lines from the Psalm this Sunday, Psalm 126, relate how I and many others feel after confession, Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like the torrents in the southern desert.  Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.

The Greek Orthodox have given us the Jesus Prayer.  It's a short, simple prayer and is a good one to have constantly on our lips - not only during Advent but always:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

 

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Jazz pianist and composer Dave Brubeck died this past week, on December 5th, one day before his 92nd birthday.  Most people know him from his piece 'Take Five'.  About 10 years ago I bought the CD Time Out which the Dave Brubeck Quartet recorded back in 1959.  When we moved from Poland to Texas and then later back to Poland, that CD made both moves with me.  I've played that CD over and over through this past decade and I never grow tired of listening to it.  I only learned after his death that Brubeck had entered the Catholic Church in 1980 and had written a Mass. 

Rest in peace with the Father, Mr Brubeck.  Your music continues to give me immense pleasure.